Thank you! My friend John is going to be ok.
You hear about the power of prayer but to experience is something else.
John found out earlier this year he had melanoma on his head. He had some surgery to remove it, and then had to go through chemo and radiation to make sure the cancer had not entered the brain. In November the doctors pronounced him cancer free. He and his wife visited us for Thanksgiving and he looked and sounded wonderful.
Last week he fell victim to a stroke. The doctors feared the worst, that the cancer was in his brain, thus causing the stroke. It did not sound good. Lots of people prayed for John, including all of you.
Yesterday we found out the it was not cancer at all! It was a blood clot, it was removed, and John is well on his way to recovery!
Life is funny. Imagine the day that someone says to you, “You have a blood clot in your head.”, and you reply, “Thank God! That’s wonderful news!”
Thanks for your prayers for John, they gave John a blood clot, Thank God!

My friend John is sick. Really sick. It sucks because he is a really good friend. But it sucks even more because he is an even better person. John is the type of guy that would drive over 200 miles to come help a friend in need. I know because he did it for me.

I met John through my wife’s family. Over the years he has become a lot more than just someone that is a friend of my wife’s family. He has been part of many gatherings at our house. He has, as I mentioned, been a l person to lean on when things get tough. He has even helped my wife negotiate a sports car to a price that she could afford when she really couldn’t afford a sports car. John kicked my ass in basketball more than once, and I play a decent game. John has kicked my father-in-law’s ass in racquetball enough times that it is not worth mentioning. John recently took up golf. We are waiting for him to get better so we can extract revenge. Get well soon John!

I write about John tonight because we need your help. If you are religious at all, even if you are not, pray for John. He is sick. It sucks. You can help. Please do.

This weekend Toni (my wife) and I celebrate 12 years of marriage. That is amazing on so many different levels. We have had ups and downs, triumphs and disappointments, achievements and failures. But through it all, even when times were most difficult, we have been together.

I can depend on my wife. If I am in trouble she finds me and pulls me from the quicksand. If I am sick, she makes chicken soup. If I don’t match, she tells me that stripes do not go with plaid. If I am an ego maniac she reminds me to maintain some level of humility. If I am too self centered she reminds me to think of others. If I am too boastful, she reminds me to be humble. Because of my wife I am a better person. I am not a perfect person, just better than I would be without her.

I am lucky, not many people find the person that makes them better. They go their entire life not knowing that it can work like it does for me. It’s sad, but I know that it’s true, I lived 32 years not being better.
But the last 12 (14 total) have been a learning experience. Just because I am better does not make our home paradise. And, just because I am better doesn’t mean I am always the dreamboat my wife wants. It also doesn’t mean that we do not have to work, sometimes really hard, at our marriage. But it does mean I am better and it does mean we don’t work as hard as often as some.

My marriage is beautiful. It is about giving, not receiving. It is about bringing to the table, not taking away. It is about love. True love. Fairytale love. Unconditional love.

Today I am grateful for my wife, my marriage and most of all I am grateful for the one person in life who by the gift of her unconditional love makes me better.

I love you Toni.

Sometimes, and I really mean sometimes, I have good judgment. As I get older, sometimes, my judgment seems to be better. My wife and I were discussing this recently. We both agreed that we were a lot less likely to step on the gas if the light is yellow today than we were several years ago. Today we choose the brake. Maybe it is just seeing too many crunched automobiles and ambulances in the last few years. But for whatever the reasons, we both like to think our judgment is getting better. And in this case our actions and the subsequent results prove that it has; no tickets, no accidents, no problem.

And we also believe we are more likely to think things all the way through before we act. We recently were posed with the decision to go to Fenway Park to see the Yankees play the red sox (sic) (eat your heart out Mike). As Yankee fans we know if we are going to get our asses kicked at this point in our lives, showing up at Fenway Park dressed as homers from the Bronx heightens the chances immensely. So, we are going to go, but we will dress in neutral colors and hope the red sox (sic) fans next to us are the type that tolerate Yankee fans that at least respect the territory if not the team. Good judgment, kind of.

However, the point of this post is not the good judgment my wife and I believe we have developed, but what I think is bad judgment. And I don’t mean the kind that will get us to Fenway as Yankee fans. I am talking about the kind where I look at you, or someone else, and decide I am better. The time where I imply that my way is the right way. Or worse yet, there are the moments where I believe you do not have a clue or a chance, not because of the situation but because for one reason or another I lack faith in you. Bad “judge”-ment.

It’s not so funny, we all do it. I have heard myself a thousand times say, “I can’t believe he would …” or “she acts like ….”. I am not sure how I got so good (bad) at judging others but I do. And I have certainly heard you, I’ll point it out the next time I am judging you. Not pretty is it?

I have a buddy with whom I play golf (another red sox fan). When we start judging people on the golf course he has a way of reminding us how hypocritical it is. He says “good thing we are so perfect, otherwise we couldn’t talk about those f---- morons”. He was born in Boston, hence the extra adjective. I need Pauly around all the time, if not physically, certainly in spirit.

And all of that brings me to how I can be grateful. First I can be grateful that I have good judgment, that I run less yellow lights and I know not to be an ass in someone else’s backyard (stadium). Secondly, and most importantly, I can be grateful that I have more awareness of my bad “judge”-ment. Trust me, there are times that I judge and do not even know. I also can be grateful that I get reminded that judging should be left to those of us who are perfect. Isn’t there something written somewhere about throwing stones and glass? I am grateful that I am becoming aware that my house is made of glass and throwing stones is not conducive to my serenity. Here’s to no cracks in the glass, have a judge free day.

I don’t know about you but healthy living is something I read about, talk about but when it comes to pure 100% dedication, well, I guess it’s about progress not perfection. But lately my wife and I have been on this new healthy living lifestyle change, and part of that has been to change what we eat. Its not an Atkins thing, although I loved that diet, all meat all the time. What’s not to like for a guy that lives in Texas? Barbequed briskets every weekend, bacon every morning, roast beef with a side of ribye for lunch, mmmmmm. I am still not sure how that diet works. But somehow it does cause you to lose weight. For me though, my cholesterol number shot up to 270 and change. Yikes! My Doctor is not a big believer in the Atkins diet.

So we got off Atkins and started eating less fatty foods. Lean cuts of meat, with an emphasis on poultry and fish and having some non-meat meals at least two to three times a week. But what we did not take into account was the amount of processed foods we were eating. Refined sugar, flour and cheeses. Everything we ate had an ingredient list on its package that had at least 300 words in it. Ever look at the stuff they put into food today? I mean it should be just food and maybe some salt right? Try artificial coloring, preservatives, stuff to make it hold the shape. Not to mention what they take out before it goes in the package. Processed foods usually lose a substantial part of their vitamins and minerals as they are, well, processed.

So what are we eating now? My wife, through some friends, was put in contact Debra Duby. Debra is a holistic health personal trainer person. And no this is not a plug for Deb but if you are interested she has a web site called Soul Salad. Anyway, Deb is guiding us in getting started eating whole foods. The thing is they do not have additives, they are not raised with pesticides, herbicides, hormones or any other chemicals. They are also packaged whole, in other words they are not processed.

What kind of foods do we eat? We have had wheat berries, collard greens and sweet potatoes to name a few. Things we do not eat on a regular basis, until now that is. We have a lot of vegatables, but we also enjoy meats. We still use the grill, had pork chops and tuna steaks this week, and we still eat pretty much what we want. Breyers natural ice cream is a delicacy that I eat in moderation. Ok, but it is still a delicacy. We prepare the food in advance, and then eat it through the week. So far it has worked well, even for our busy life schedules. (The thought just occurred to me that my sister Judy is enjoying this. She has been eating like this for years. I hate it when my older siblings are right.)

So what is the gratitude item with this new natural food diet we have found? Mainly that we feel better. We both seem like we have more energy and more stamina. We also feel better in general. And an added benefit to all of this, as Deb Duby would say, is we are doing something good for planet earth. So today I am grateful that doing something good for me, is also doing something good for you. That has not always been the case